Man Overboard

Deep down tonight, I am thinking on myself. Have I gone overboard this time? It seems however that I am guilty of it on the whole. I have neglected the feelings of others, especially to those around me. Why and how have I neglected them? I do not know. Perhaps I have underestimated the limits of the rest.

But the question remains the same. How did I let myself go astray with all these issues? I should be the one who notices the turning points of the interchanging emotions, I should be the one who puts limits to limits, I should be the one who stopped. But why did I still let myself proceed? Perhaps I had led myself into thinking that "they wouldn't mind a thing", or maybe that they did not take into their hearts of what have been said or done.

But I was wrong, wrong to the core on how I perceive things. Why had I perceive them in this manner? I sometimes wonder myself of the matters that surrounds my thoughts. Am I really that stubborn to let some silly perception cloud my thinking? I do not think so. I thought the better of myself, that is until today.

1 year has past and gone away,
yet I still led illusions to cloud my way.
How long still would I have to endure,
the mindless ways of my posture.

There are many, many things that I would say and do, though sadly enough, time and tide dose wait for no man.

So what shall I do for now?

I shall STOP.

My Little India

There is a little scenic spot from the window of my bedroom up here in the slums of SS15.I can see a patch of greens not far from here, it appeals to me as a series of unexplored jungle, in which really shakes my curiosity and imagination of what is there. Every time I lay my eyes on it, it gives me the sort of impression that it is a land full of mystical characters, it is also probably due to the peculiar upstanding of two coconut trees in the middle of the green patch. I sometimes think that these small little wonders in which we perceive things prove amusing, for it is only through these individual perceptive, that truly distinguish each and everyone of us. Every time I think of India, the first thing that comes to mind is that it is a land of mystics, land of the ancients, and of course land of the Buddha. True, I am a Buddhist after all. Unfortunate of that I am, I have just realize of my religion just today, for this matter-religion comes to be a somewhat complicated issue to realize. Doctrines after doctrines, we seek to find the ones that appeals to us, sadly that isn't as easy as some people perceive it to be. Some doctrines require people to rage wars, some doctrines just want peace, some claim that theirs is the true faith, and yet some declares none the true faith. So who or which is right and which is wrong?      

     Everybody regards matters their own ways, hence everybody is different in thinking, simply enough.

      The little green patch isn't as amusing to me as before anymore, I feel that the feeling will return again later in the day, but as for now, the little green patch as it is, has reverted itself back to its usual position, in a manner of speaking. It is that certain 'little moment' that we see and feel things that are different. Inspiration comes in a sneaky manner, it comes, it goes, some may feel it, some may not, but it is there, I assure you.

Looking Within

The morning breaks with a light rain over the beds of  the neighbourhood, I peeked outside the window to see what type of activity ponders over the people of the morning hour. My morning mainly consisted of  plainly wasting my time away, surfing the net. The afternoon sight fills my eyes with the shade of a dull grey and or blue, having me remembering days like these which I had many years ago. I ponder on myself of how the years have gone by, of how I use to spend my Saturday afternoons like these finishing up piano classes, and going out with my parents. Sometimes I wish I could just turn the clock back...But then, who doesn't? Thinking about all these makes me ponder yet again on the jouney I have taken to reach where I am right now. I think of all the feats I had in high school, none of them have surely prepared me for this. But then again also, who is? Its funny how the way things are in reality,compare to how people concieve things they planned. Originally,I forsaw myself being one of the most succesful person in the history of my country, but sadly, those are just dreams...Sometimes,I figured that our dreams have to be given up,for the purpose of survival. In other words, dreams are better off seen as dreams in itself, rather than a "forshadow" of youself in the future. Being a hipocrite myself, I still want to believe in my dreams, I still want to believe that my dreams will one day prevail. But who am I to believe in such absurd matters? I feel that it is only worth believing if you really have the commitment to work for it. I am sure of myself that I lack the commitment. Why is this so? I think that I myself is afraid of having commitments into achieving my dream. This is because, to have a commitment, I would have to sacrifice many things which are deemed 'important' to me. I would have to sacrifice my sleeping time, my eating habits, my freedom. But then again, we must sacrifice certain things to achieve a higher goal in our lives. What say you?