Looking Within

The morning breaks with a light rain over the beds of  the neighbourhood, I peeked outside the window to see what type of activity ponders over the people of the morning hour. My morning mainly consisted of  plainly wasting my time away, surfing the net. The afternoon sight fills my eyes with the shade of a dull grey and or blue, having me remembering days like these which I had many years ago. I ponder on myself of how the years have gone by, of how I use to spend my Saturday afternoons like these finishing up piano classes, and going out with my parents. Sometimes I wish I could just turn the clock back...But then, who doesn't? Thinking about all these makes me ponder yet again on the jouney I have taken to reach where I am right now. I think of all the feats I had in high school, none of them have surely prepared me for this. But then again also, who is? Its funny how the way things are in reality,compare to how people concieve things they planned. Originally,I forsaw myself being one of the most succesful person in the history of my country, but sadly, those are just dreams...Sometimes,I figured that our dreams have to be given up,for the purpose of survival. In other words, dreams are better off seen as dreams in itself, rather than a "forshadow" of youself in the future. Being a hipocrite myself, I still want to believe in my dreams, I still want to believe that my dreams will one day prevail. But who am I to believe in such absurd matters? I feel that it is only worth believing if you really have the commitment to work for it. I am sure of myself that I lack the commitment. Why is this so? I think that I myself is afraid of having commitments into achieving my dream. This is because, to have a commitment, I would have to sacrifice many things which are deemed 'important' to me. I would have to sacrifice my sleeping time, my eating habits, my freedom. But then again, we must sacrifice certain things to achieve a higher goal in our lives. What say you?